The first trimester was okay but ever since she got to the second trimester things have drastically changed.You'll never know how patient you are til your woman gets pregnant and the hormones start playing games with her, you and even your ancestors.
Nowadays I arrive home smelling sweat and on my way to the shower, she stops me from showering! Guess what? She loves the smell of my sweat and now am not allowed to shower!But kuna vile hiyo story imeniokolea na haka kabaridi off late.As any caring hubby out there I decide to go buy supper for her..
ME: Babe let me go buy supper.
HER: (Najua hutaki kuenda na mimi juu malaya wako wataona unatembea na mtu ako na mimba(So you don't wanna go with me since you don't want your prostitutes to see you with someone pregnant).I tell her that's not the case and she accompanys me to the nearby market. From the house we decided to take "Githeri " for supper. We get some 'Githeri ' and on our way home she buys mangoes and ripe bananas. On arriving home she washes the mangoes&bananas and starts eating them with salt!! Salt my brother.I wanna shout at her but the way she's enjoying them leaves me with no option but to shut up.
Dinner is ready. I have cooked some delicious "Githeri " in a way that I can't even cook for my own mother. I know she loves Githeri so much. I serve her and she starts separating maize & beans!!! A woman in her mid 20s and she's separating
maize&beans in the Githeri like a 6 year old kid! By the time she's done separating I have already tortured and circumnavigated two plates of Githeri and one avocado. Since am concerned I ask her what's wrong with the meal... "Hii githeri inanuka moshi na mafuta ya taa " .I have tortured two plates but I never came close to anything smelling like paraffin or smoke!She further goes ahead and says she's no longer interested in the Githeri! She now wants chapatis! (God I want a divorce already lol)...
I rush to the vibandas before they close to get her the chapatis.I never knew when dealing with a pregnant woman always seek clarification twice or thrice.Even before I get home she's like... "Hope hujaleta za white nilikuwa nataka za wimbi ".That's the the time I feel like its her family that should have paid dowry for me! I have no option but to go back and buy the 'chapati za wimbi'.A sigh of relief as she eats them this time round.
Time for sleep.Somebody's daughter is dressed in one of those sexy night gowns. She's so sexy. There's that glitter that comes along with the pregnancy and some booty accompanys it as well. She's dressed to kill and am there like.. "Mmmh it seems today am going to anoint the baby with proteins"..She lays in the bed, then she positions her booty in a way it touches my "boyoyi".I try touching her...The response I get makes me turn to the other side of the bed and start thinking why did I even get married?I try nagging but she won't give in and in fact she's getting annoyed. As I sleep she's continuously rubbing her booty on me but I just can't dare touch her. I remember Lupita was 12 years a slave yet I just can't figure out how I will be 12 hours a slave of my feelings.
Life is tough bro. If you get through all that drama plus the 3 months after pregnancy without cheating on her or contemplating the same then today you are my hero bro!Today I salute all men out there who have or are tolerating the pregnancy madness.Its not easy as many people might think.