“Can you stay two years
without S*X?” she asked
“What? Two years? “ I
answered with a broken smile.
This is Kinya my old friend
in high school back 90’s, there was no way I would stay two years with no S*X, that’s
a big dry spell for me. I love S*X and we used to sneak to our nearest center
in our boarding school night time just to have S*X with construction guys that
were working in nearby site. Kigotio was our school Lab man. I used to visit
his room he had rented near our school compound; mostly weekend….a stolen fruit
is so sweet than the one given freely. I never had a dry spell though I was in
boarding school, if not Kigotio then construction guys were there for me.
“if you wont control your S*X
desires, you won’t be able to work in Middle east” she answered with sarcastic
face.
I had met Kinya recently
when I was searching for a job; my life had turned so miserable after I married
Kigotio. Actually it was not real marriage but a situation based marriage.
After enjoying S*X life with Kigotio in high school, I was able to get up to
form four and did my KCSE. But unfortunately I was heavy pregnant for him. I
tried to hide this pregnancy, but by the time we did KCSE I was six months
pregnant, (I scored an E and far as I was concerned, I had passed with flying
colors)
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Kigotio was also our
neighbor and my family knew him very well. He was obsessed with Ladies and
beer. Did I say beer? Hahahaha…Kumikumi was the nickname of the so called beer
in our village, call it songanamwena ...he really enjoyed drinking this stuff
to the end. My mom always suspected there was something going on between me and
Kigotio. I was now at home after completing High school.
“Who is responsible for
this” my mom asked.
My mom needed a conversation
with me which I tried my best to avoid but no matter how much I avoided she
came later to know Kigotio was the guy responsible, my mom was so broken
hearted only that she didn’t know I was a bad girl since primary school. She
had high hopes of her girl pursuing education. She always reminded me of how
she would be so happy to see me being a high profile Engineer. Now her dreams
were fading away. I had no such dreams; my dreams were only for fun, leisure, S*X
and alcohol. I ran away from home to
stay with Kigotio when my S*X desires frustrated me.
That was the beginning of my
miserable life. I later gave birth to two more kids, Hellen(1996) and
John(1998).the first born was Oscar born 1994. My marriage did not run smoothly
since Kigotio was not responsible dad to start with, he was a womanizer and so
he continued with his drinking habits and women. I gave up on my marriage in
2006 after Kigotio came home drunk with one of his women whom he slept with at
our matrimonial bed, He gave me a tough beating in front of my babies and
chased me out of house at midnight calling me all dirties names one would ever
imagine. We slept whole night on the cold floor with my babies at Kilimo shopping center buildings near our
home. From then I decided to be a single a mother.
“So what have you decided,
your silence means you can’t be able,right?” Kinya was still waiting my answer.
I stood there still thinking
hard, surely will I be able to control myself? S*X? two years? My thoughts were
still moving in circles, am an addict of S*X, and according to stories I hear
about middle east, if you are caught having S*X with a man who is not your
husband, you are handed a death penalty as a woman, and as a man, you are given
1000 lashes. Am a single mother at
moment, who will make love to me in middle east for two years? Meaning is
either I abstain or I die. I needed job so much since my babies needed upkeep
and Oscar was about to join high school. He needed school fees, I was to pay
rent which was six months due only that my Landlord, Mr Kimumutho was
persevering me and also because of the forbidden fruit I was sneaking to him.
Kimani the shopkeeper, his debt was in terms of thousands, he was still not
asking for it since he was getting love privileged benefits from me, Headmaster
of Gicheng’o Primary school, Mr Gifengo was still holding me, he was about to
chase Hellen and John from school but the previous night I had given him a
super, spiced hot kiss and he forgot everything, I remember how I kissed him
until he raised all his bare foot up and lost control of his hands, actually I
enjoyed that moment until I felt like giving him more than that but Hellen was
waiting me at the center water tank.
“yes, yes, I will try my
best to control myself,” I answered but not sure of my words.
“Tomorrow at 8:00am give me
the photocopy of your ID and two picture passports” she said
“I will, but first tell me
which specific country am I going to work?” I asked
“Probably SAUDI ARABIA.” She
answered.
“What?! Saudi Arabia?” I was
terrified
“yes!” she laughed and off
she went
Kinya was an agent, she was
securing jobs for women who needed to be domestic workers in Middle East, last time when we had met I asked her to
secure a job for me since I was in great poverty, I was walking barefooted with torn clothes, life
had taken toll on me. The only good thing in me was good health, my honey
pot(which I used to earn a living with and also getting pleasure from) and my
heart.
I went to my house and
thought much about this job, how I will leave my little John for two years, I
felt the love of mother deep inside me, but I had no otherwise, I had to go. I
had to leave my babies. I stood up and went to my mother’s house. Although it
was hard to explain to her, she was always a good mother who wanted all the
best for her babies. She agreed to take care of my babies since I would be
sending something little to her for their upkeep. The only question she asked
me was, “Jane will you be able to wear the hijabs yet you have never allowed a
dress to pass past your knee?” that question posed another challenge to me, Hijab,
in dessert area, with all that heat? Nevertheless I had no option I had to go.
My heart had already decided.
Back to my house I packed my
few torn clothes, I passed through Shiro’s
house, my brother’s girl friend and borrowed a scarf and one blouse to prepare
for my departure. That night I had to sit all my babies down and explain to
them about my new job, how I wished I would stay with them but it was
impossible at moment. I also told them they were to stay with their grandmother
until I come back after two years. John loved her grandmother so much so he was
not disturbed at all.Oscar loved his mother so much I saw tears of sorrow
dropping from his cheeks, Hellen was a nut head just like her mother, in fact
that was a good chance for her to do all she wanted in the village, but I was
not worried since I knew her grandmother would control that.
KiraguwaNduthi was on
doorstep waiting for them to drop them at their shosh home,so I wished
them a good night, and we kissed goodbye
amid tears. They were to spend a night at their grandmothers’ place.as I turned
back ,my heart was too heavy ,I cried for waving my babies goodbye, I didn’t
know if it was the last goodbye or the first goodbye,I cried a lot but I had to
go. I fell on my bed,took some piritons and tried to get some sleep.